The Importance of Hula Hoops in Your Relationship
The Principle of the Hula HoopI think one of the most important things a couple can do to improve their relationship is to learn and practice the principle of "Staying In Your Own Hula Hoop." What I mean is it is so very easy to point the finger at our partner and talk about how they are making the marital relationship difficult. It's easy to become focused on how desperately we want them to change, isn't it? After all, if you knew the person we had to live with, you'd want them to change too, wouldn't you? [Tweet "Focusing on the person in our Hula Hoop gives us the power to change relationships"].
The PracticeWhen a couple comes in to see me for marital therapy - I have them first stand up and draw an imaginary circle around themselves. I will have them tell me what color the circle is, how it feels in the circle, and how thick or thin the line is around them. I then share with the couple the principal of "Staying in Your Hula Hoop." I tell them - "You will have power to change the whole relationship if you stay inside your Hula Hoop. And - the minute you go outside of your Hula-Hoop and begin focusing on your partner, you will lose your only power to change your relationship." You see - regardless of what is going on for our partner - we have the power to change the relationship dance steps. We can improve our relationships simply by staying in our Hula-Hoop. The focus begins with us and possibly ends with an improved relationship. What about you? Have you ever just focused on the improvements you can make in a relationship? With a friend? With a child? With a spouse? Try it daily for a month. Watch your world change and come back and tell me about it!
The above is not to considered as professional advice. It's just good, practical wisdom from a wife, mom and licensed therapist. If you're interested in finding out the skills needed to stay in your Hula Hoop, and you're in the Auburn or Grass Valley area, feel free to call and set up an appointment with me at 530-268-3558 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.