30 Things We've Learned to Do Right in Our 30 Years of Marriage

My husband, Bob Pieper, and I just spent the day playing hookie from work - celebrating our 30 years of marriage together. There were so many things going on this year - health problems, financial problems, etc.  We just did not plan any sort of celebration. In fact, we are both pretty grateful to be alive, healthy, and together. When we got to the office this morning and discovered clients had canceled, we decided to rethink putting off celebrating our  anniversary day. Being responsible and working hard is a great habit to have. However, some days you just have to let the impractical rule over the practical. Some days you have to stop and celebrate. Because, as Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." During our wonderful day of laughing and reminiscing, we decided to think of 30 Things We've Learned to Do Right in Our 30 Years of Marriage. You see, in the last 30 years, there have been a lot of mistakes made - by both us. At one time, we just weren't even certain we were going to make it. Plans were made to split. But - that's another story yet to be written. Suffice it to say, a miracle of sorts happened to wake both of us up, keep us together and continues to help us to hang on to us. When we thought about writing the things we have learned to do right, we actually thought we would make a list to share with only our children. Four offspring of ours might one day want to ask, "How in the heck did Mom and Dad do it?!" Because they might need our sage advice some day. But then, we got to thinking. The world needs love, love, love. And being together for 30 years AND still being friends and lovers who enjoy each other is a big deal. A lot of things happen when you're together for that long. You have plenty of opportunities to make mistakes. And opportunities to learn from those mistakes. So - Here's our 30 Things We Have Learned to Do Right! We hope you enjoy them and they at least make you think... even if these 30 would not work in your relationship. We are thankful for each one thing done right.

1. Stayed Together - When we walked down the aisle on September 12, 1987, we walked to Huey Lewis's music of "Happy To Be Stuck With You." Listen to the lyrics of that song. Our love story pretty much matches with those lyrics. We have stayed together.
2. Had fun together - Bob and I laugh. We are silly sometimes. We hike, play games, kayak and listen to music together. It is a must.
3. We are spontaneous - Sometimes life just is too much of a drag. Frankly, raising four children and helping with a grandchild meant we just had to snag time away whenever we could. I remember one day we went shopping in the morning and ended up checking into a hotel that afternoon. We called the older kiddo's and made certain it was OK with them. Then, we bought the toiletries we needed and snagged a night alone!
4. We haven't tried to change each other. - Well... The truth is, I did try to get Bob to wear "slick shoes," as he calls them. And he did try to get me to wear (nevermind, let's keep this G-rated!) But, for the most part, we have learned to not try to change each other.
5. Showed interest in each other's interests. - Bob knows more than some of my colleagues about the art of therapy. Truly. And me? I know more about animal genetics and what straws are used for than I ever wanted to know! There are a lot of things we have learned about each other's interests. We have truly allowed ourselves to be influenced by each other.
6. Learned to not take ourselves so seriously. - Bob and I are both pretty stubborn and opinionated. We have our opinions about how to do just about anything. And you know what? We just had to learn to let that go. Bob clean a toilet and load dishes however he chooses. And I can change the oil on our cars however I choose to do it. We just can't take our opinions so seriously.
7. Sought God more than each other. - This is huge for us. We went through a period of time when our "Due North" was what kept us together. We decide a lot of things after first praying about them individually. We listen to each other. But - we both listen to what we believe God is impressing on us to do.
8. Call each other on our shtuff. - As I have said before, we're both pretty stubborn. We have needed to listen to the "iron sharpens iron" from each other. We know each other well. And when we see each other blowing it in some way, we respectfully address it with each other. -Or at least we try to do the 'calling out' with as much respect as possible.